Diary Entry, Sixth of December, Early Morning

Only my second night back in the Spire, and already I can't sleep. When I do sleep, I dream, and I do not want to see the things that haunt me. In my sleep I saw them, Blood Knights, Farstriders, Tauren shamans come to heal us, brave orc warriors. They stood before me, staring as if in accusation. In the dream I walk towards them, and horrible wounds open on each. Each falls to the ground, faces accusing me forever in death. I can never escape them, they are always there, always around me.

Sometimes the dream is simply a reenactment of the events that occurred yesterday. The attempts to negotiate. The pointless fighting in the forest until the burnt, dead ground is also blood soaked. And finally, the last moments as the fragile peace that we had managed to iron out failed and fighting flared up. Those people...my people...dying for no reason, for a pointless piece of trail in a burning, forsaken forest.

How much blood must be spilled there? How many times must we watch our friends and comrades get cut down there? I don't know what is coming over me lately, but watching such things endlessly is taking its toll on my spirit. I would have surrendered myself into the unloving hands of our enemies if it could have prevented the slaughter that I witnessed. But even that was not possible, as no reason can be found in the madness that the world has been plunged into. Perhaps in earlier days such a thing would have been more likely, but not now.

A'dal's Light is the only thing that keeps me sane I think. It is all I have to reach out to in times like this. I write these words to perhaps ease the burden of it all, but without that Light within me I know that I would have faltered in my steps many days ago. I can feel it even now, burning deep within me. It affects everything, even the spells I cast. Instead of a coolness of arcane magic, my spells raged like an inferno around me in battle, yet burned me not.

Everything is thrown into confusion now. The war, my magic, even my own relationships with my friends and family. I cannot even FIND Kyliska or Chalce to discuss what happened in the spire. Both departed before I returned, and I've yet to speak with them or even attempt to make things right.

Pouring these words out is the only comfort I have now, and they are a poor excuse for companionship at times like this. I regret many things, but the loss of my friends I regret most of all.