To Cheat A Goblin

A high pitched laugh echoed through the golden forest, the sound playfully flowing through the warm breeze that was always present in Eversong. Although laughter was not uncommon in the forest, the tone of the person making it was quite unusual. Not quite child-like, and with an accent that would make a grown orc wince, the goblin woman's laughter echoed again as she was told another joke.

"Never heard that one before Big G," Zeppi said with a sharp-toothed smile. She was hunched over her trike, trying to reconnect a fuel line that had come loose and set the ground behind her on fire for the last fifty feet of their ride before they stopped.

Around her were two other goblins, their own trikes parked as they lounged against them and watched their boss at work. The bigger of the two goblin males, the one she'd called Big G, smirked as he watched the smaller red-haired goblin try and fix her trike.

"You'll never reconnect that fuel line if you don't weld it in place Boss," Big G said casually. The thought that putting flame to a rubber pipe that had volatile fuel in it might be dangerous didn't cross any of their minds.

Zeppi shook her head and opened her mouth to comment when the second male goblin chimed in, his voice only slightly lower pitched than Zeppi's own, "Nah. Don't waste time Boss. I wanna spend our cut already. Just put a bolt in it and weld it back at the shop. You can use the geothermal fuser to get it on there really good."

Zeppi nodded at the speaker, the smaller of her two brutes named Znar. He was one of her better techs, and she always brought him along for longer trips in case they had to fix something on the fly, or better yet destroy something large. Like Zeppi herself, he carried enough blasting powder to level a small mountain as a matter of course.

"Ya know what? I think I'll just connect the secondary fuel tank," Zeppi said thoughtfully. "Should have enough that the extra burn off won't matter." With that, she quickly set about hooking a second fuel line to the injectors on that side of her trike, ignoring the fact that the Sin'dorei would likely not appreciate her burning half the foliage on her way out of Quel'Thalas.

Her two brutes, both members of Sparkflash Industrial Weapons Inc. of Orgrimmar, continued to lounge against their own machines, chatting while she worked. Just as she finished up and leaned back to admire her handiwork, a shadow fell over her. She looked up to find herself staring up at a blonde Sin'dorei, his fel green eyes studying her carefully. Around the group, several other Sin'dorei had approached, all in thick plate armor and wearing tabards bearing an emblem that looked like a sun rising out of the ocean.

All of it meant nothing to Zeppi, and she looked up at the elf, one eyebrow raised, "Can I help you with somethin' champ, or are you just admirin' my sweet ride?"

The elf smirked at her, the look on his face one that might make others uncomfortable from the malice in it, that is, if they weren't goblins. Zeppi just waited patiently for golden boy to start talking.

"Two days ago you received payment," the elf began. "This payment was given to you by House Felo'melorn. The expenditure was not authorized by all members of the Blackhearts military coalition, and must be relinquished immediately."

Zeppi's other eyebrow joined her first way up by her hairline. She tilted her head further, studying the elf, "I'm sorry honey, I don't think I heard that right. You sayin' you're going to TAKE my GOLD?"

"Essentially, yes." the elf replied. "If you have issue with this, House Felo'melorn should be contacted."

Behind Zeppi, her two brutes had straightened up, angry muttering coming from Big G. Two of the Sin'dorei Blood Knights surrounding the three smaller goblins half drew their swords, the glint of metal a dire warning. Zeppi held up her hand, looking at the other goblins and nodding slightly, "Easy now. No need for that. We're reasonable people after all sugar."

She looked back at the elf before her, who was staring at her impatiently. She rolled her eyes, reaching up to the top of her riding jacket, "Just hold on a minute. I gotta at least get it out before you get all weepy and ruin your eye makeup honey."

The elf rolled his eyes as Zeppi unzipped the front of her jacket. The tight corset she had beneath it drew his gaze as she leaned forward, letting quite a bit of her generous green cleavage peek out of the jacket. Partially distracted and/or disgusted with himself, the elf noted that there was something there, and nodded as he realized that a goblin woman would keep her money close to her heart.

Zeppi seemed to confirm this, her hand darting into the space and pulling the object out. A second later the elf realized his mistake when he was staring down the barrel of a derringer. Clearly there was something this goblin woman liked even more than money; weapons! Zeppi grinned a toothy grin at him as she cocked back the hammer on the small gun. Behind her the other two goblins had drawn larger firearms from the frames of their trikes, covering two of the Blood Knights. The elves, in turn, drew their swords, creating a tense moment.

"Be cool! Everyone just be cool!" Zeppi yelled, her purple eyes darting from one elf to the next and her gun held firmly in her grip. "I don't wanna hafta splatter you all over your pretty forest here, but nobody takes my pay ya got that honey?!"

The blonde elf sighed, taking a step back, "You should rethink this Miss Sparkflash. I'd hate to have to slaughter all of you. That wasn't in my instructions but if need be, it'll come to that."

Zeppi laughed, the sound not holding a hint of fear. "Honey, if you think this is the first time I've been double-crossed you got another thing comin'. Just beat it so I don't have to put a hot one in that pretty head of yours."

The elf shook his head and gestured with one hand, speaking to Zeppi as he did so. "I don't think you understand the situation Miss Sparkflash."

From around the forest, several more Sin'dorei appeared with bows in hand. The goblins were outnumbered a good five to one now. Zeppi frowned, not liking the odds.

"You see Miss Sparkflash, accommodating my request would be in your best interest," the elf said again.

Begrudgingly, Zeppi lowered her derringer and snarled at the elf, "Gonna hafta pay for this at some point honey. A goblin always remembers who owes 'em."

With that she stormed over to her trike and pulled out a brown sack, holding it in her hand. She jingled it once and the sound of metal on metal came from it. The elf nodded at her and she tossed it to the nearest Blood Knight.

"Thank you Miss Sparkflash, I'm glad you could see reason," the elf said.

Zeppi smiled at him, her hand coming up from off her trike, a small little metal object with a button on it in her hand, "No, thank you sugar. Been about two hours since I've blown something up!"

With that she depressed the button on the detonator she was holding, and the sack she'd thrown to the Blood Knight detonated with a spectacular blast. The elf was thrown back into one of his companions, shrapnel from the sack striking several of the other elves, felling two of them. It sailed harmlessly over the heads of the shorter goblins, although a few pieces peppered Big G's trike, which made him snarl in irritation.

Less than a second later, the clearing erupted into a full-scale battle as the three goblins opened up on the Sin'dorei around them. Zeppi crouched down behind her trike, using it for cover from the Sin'dorei bowmen as she worked her shotgun free from one of the trike's saddlebags. With a whoop of joy she rose up from behind the arrow-studded machine and let her gun roar out at the elves who were futilely using bushes and trees as cover. Behind her the other two goblins had similarly taken cover, and were systematically blasting any Sin'dorei that came into sight.

It was over less than a minute later. Taken by surprise by the blast and unable to find adequate cover, most of the Sin'dorei were cut down in the first seconds of gunfire. Those who had managed to get behind trees fled as the bark and wood was slowly cut away by sharp flying bits of metal. The goblins appeared to have more than adequate supplies of ammunition and were happy enough just blasting at the trees themselves if no elves were available as targets. After a few moments of cowering, the last remaining Sin'dorei fled the scene.

Zeppi smiled as she rose up from behind her trike, gunsmoke trailing from the end of her shotgun. She stepped out from around it, surveying the dead elves around her before hearing one of them groan. She walked over to the source of the noise, discovering the elf that had originally been leading the group laying in a pool of blood, his gut hit by one of their rounds.

Zeppi paused, looking down at him and smiling, "You see honey, never cheat a goblin. We cheat way better than you. 'Sides, we did that work fair and square. Can't let you take our coin back. That'd be bad policy!"

The elf groaned, looking up at her with glassy eyes, "Y-you'll never get out of here alive fool. Y-you can't just....kill...Sin'dorei in Quel'Thalas. S-someone will find our corpses and you'll be done for."

Zeppi just kept smiling, setting her gun down and pulling her arclight spanner from her belt. She tilted her head, leaning close as if sharing a secret. "Well honey, you know, I know a guy that knows a guy who buys corpses and body parts offa people. Says there's good business in it with the Forsaken. So I'm thinkin' there won't be no bodies to be found toots. Just more coin in my purse."

For one brief horrifying moment the elf looked up into the goblins eyes and came to realize that his life was nothing more than a sum in her head. A figure in golden coins that weighed against the amount of work it would take to cart him off. He shivered as she brought her spanner up, the truth finally coming to him as it came down hard on the side of his skull and blackness claimed him.

You really can't cheat a goblin.

Zeppi giggled, wiping her spanner clean on the dead elf's clothing before looking at the other two and nodding, "Big G, go and fetch the atv and trailer from the storage garage at the Blackhearts compound. Looks like we got one more stop to make before we head back to the zepplin and hit the shop. This trip just got a lot more profitable."

As the two goblins whooped and bellowed with joy behind her, Zeppi turned back to the fallen elf, the glint of gold at his neck catching her eye. With a smile, she leaned down and grabbed the pendant from around his neck, murmuring to herself, "What have we hear lovely?"

The golden emblem, the seal of House Dawnsea, found its way into her coin-pouch. The one she kept in her pants pocket, not her corset. With a smile Zeppi went back to her trike, stowing her shotgun so she'd have two hands free to loot the other corpses. It was all about maximizing profit after all!

What a good trip. Quel'Thalas was a great place to do business!