Last night, at the
insistence of my chambermaid, Bronrianna, I reached out to Aeranor with
my heart. She told me that I had to be true to my feelings, not to hide
them. Kyliska and Hauk have often said the same thing to me in the past.
I felt, after all this betrayal, and considering the fact that I may
not live much longer, I should finally heed their advice.
I received a letter in return from Aeranor. It made my heart flutter just to know he had actually taken the time to respond. To read his words made my spirits soar high into the sky, and then come crashing down to earth once more. I do not know if I should smile or weep for the rest of the day. I do not know if I should continue to allow my heart to even feel anything.
He cares for me. I suspect he may even feel as deeply for me as I for him. And yet he must allow his political goals to stand in the way of us ever being together. We must be foes against one another until the end of time, my heart bleeding for him, never having him. It is almost more than I can bear. He will love me from a distance, and I him, and we will never touch, we will never embrace one another unless I submit to his will and surrender my very dreams to him.
The choice is hard. Do I give up the very thing I most desire, my beloved Aeranor? Do I submit my will to his, to be the queen of his heart, and in reality queen of nothing? Do I allow my allies to perish so that Aeranor's will is done, so that his own goals are accomplished?
Is this really a choice? Could I ever look Kyslika or Hauk Fenshire in the eye again if I made such a decision? Could I ever walk past the Lady Redessa in Silvermoon and not cringe in embarassment for giving up on our alliance? Am I a craven creature, to be ordered to my knees when the political climate demands it?
No. There is no choice here. I was once told that I had no heart, only a chunk of ice residing within my chest. Sadly this must in fact be the case. For Kyliska's sake. For Hauk Fenshire's sake. For my sacred blood oaths to Silvermoon City, I must tear out my own heart. Perhaps Malakori would eat it for me, that I would not worry about it ever being replaced? I jest of course, Malakori prefers to remove the hearts herself I believe.
I am rambling on now, but what else is there to do? This may be my last journal entry. Forces align all around me to slaughter me utterly. The Brotherhood of Dusk. The traitorous priest Varimarris. Houses within Silvermoon itself. What can one do when the entire world is focused on your destruction?
Destroy it first. That is the only recourse. Everyone who stands against me must fall. Every hand raised to thwart me must be cut off. Even my own family would back me in this, would stop the foul assassins that cry for my blood, the ancient blood of the Quel'dorei.
I am Biara Dayfire. I am Scion. I am a Magistrix. I will not be taken quietly. Many will bleed out their last before I breathe my last breath.
*The final words appear to be harshly written and smudged as if the writer is extremely angry.*
I received a letter in return from Aeranor. It made my heart flutter just to know he had actually taken the time to respond. To read his words made my spirits soar high into the sky, and then come crashing down to earth once more. I do not know if I should smile or weep for the rest of the day. I do not know if I should continue to allow my heart to even feel anything.
He cares for me. I suspect he may even feel as deeply for me as I for him. And yet he must allow his political goals to stand in the way of us ever being together. We must be foes against one another until the end of time, my heart bleeding for him, never having him. It is almost more than I can bear. He will love me from a distance, and I him, and we will never touch, we will never embrace one another unless I submit to his will and surrender my very dreams to him.
The choice is hard. Do I give up the very thing I most desire, my beloved Aeranor? Do I submit my will to his, to be the queen of his heart, and in reality queen of nothing? Do I allow my allies to perish so that Aeranor's will is done, so that his own goals are accomplished?
Is this really a choice? Could I ever look Kyslika or Hauk Fenshire in the eye again if I made such a decision? Could I ever walk past the Lady Redessa in Silvermoon and not cringe in embarassment for giving up on our alliance? Am I a craven creature, to be ordered to my knees when the political climate demands it?
No. There is no choice here. I was once told that I had no heart, only a chunk of ice residing within my chest. Sadly this must in fact be the case. For Kyliska's sake. For Hauk Fenshire's sake. For my sacred blood oaths to Silvermoon City, I must tear out my own heart. Perhaps Malakori would eat it for me, that I would not worry about it ever being replaced? I jest of course, Malakori prefers to remove the hearts herself I believe.
I am rambling on now, but what else is there to do? This may be my last journal entry. Forces align all around me to slaughter me utterly. The Brotherhood of Dusk. The traitorous priest Varimarris. Houses within Silvermoon itself. What can one do when the entire world is focused on your destruction?
Destroy it first. That is the only recourse. Everyone who stands against me must fall. Every hand raised to thwart me must be cut off. Even my own family would back me in this, would stop the foul assassins that cry for my blood, the ancient blood of the Quel'dorei.
I am Biara Dayfire. I am Scion. I am a Magistrix. I will not be taken quietly. Many will bleed out their last before I breathe my last breath.
*The final words appear to be harshly written and smudged as if the writer is extremely angry.*
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