Before I dared to set a quill to this page I have taken steps to
ensure that these words will never be seen. I have placed new wardings
on my diary that will utterly destroy half of my spire if this book is
removed from the place where I keep it. I imagine the fiery explosion
would make Archmage Wyrmcurse weep like a babe if he were to witness it.
I will leave my diary open only long enough for the ink to set, lest it
be seen.
Why have I taken these steps? It is because I,
Biara Dayfire, am a traitor. Although my desire to see Quel'thalas
secure has not wavered and despite the fact that I will never divulge
military secrets to the enemy or pause in my battle against them, my
heart is traitorous. None can know of the treachery my heart holds, for I
feel that inside I am as guilty as Sassariel was, or as Selun'athiel. I
am coming to understand these two Quel'dorei in more depth as I sort
out my thoughts.
Ah Sassariel. Is this how it began for
you? Did your admiration for your Kaldorei lover begin with a simple
conversation about something that interested the both of you? For surely
now I cannot deny to myself that I admire Jazari Mechavolt. Our meeting
last night was something that will long linger in my mind. To work
together with someone who shines as brightly in their mind as I myself
do, to craft new magics never before seen and build something never
imagined before was an experience I cannot help but remember forever.
I
am confused within my heart. Why does Mechavolt treat me with such
respect and outright curtesy? Do I deserve such from him? I don't think I
do but apparently he thinks otherwise. He thinks it proper to
compliment me, to encourage me in my works, to encourage the spirit that
I once held. He rekindles the flame of curiosity and awe that a
Quel'dorei named Biar'athiel once had long ago when it comes to magic.
He is against retraints on the use of magic and believes in researching
every avenue in detail. He believes that anything is possible through
magic and technology. I feel that he is right in every way. My heart
sings these very things to me in my dreams, and always has. I just have
not stopped to listen to it.
Beyond magic, Jazari did
something else last evening. He showed me a beautiful piece of the
world. A piece that I had never seen and that I might never have stopped
to look at if not for him. He says there are so many more places like
this, so many more sights to behold. He has offered to show them to me.
Instead of feeling wary, of worrying that it is a trap to slay me...I
instead feel anticipation. I feel the urge to see these places, to know
them as he does, so that I might learn more of the world that I have
seen only from the top of my Spire.
So a traitor I am. I
will continue to meet with Jazari, I will continue this treacherous
friendship because I cannot help myself. I am drawn to the magic as a
moth to flame. Many have told me this in the past, and it is the one
undeniable fact about my existence. Magic is my essence, and maybe will
be my undoing.
I will meditate this morning, though I hardly feel the need. I have never felt so light hearted before
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