There was a pleasant breeze in the evening air as Celessarae Moonfang stood amidst the trees. She could hear it rustling through leaves that would one day soon begin their change from summer to fall colors, the sound a soothing sensation to ease the troubles of her mind. She'd come to the Moonglade in a bit of desperation, but the natural peace of the place eased her mind even as the worries remained in the background.
It was taking too long. The thought ran over and over in her mind as she paced in the small clearing amongst the trees. Her leather armor creaked as she bent over, reaching out to inspect the branch of a small bush that was growing from the forest floor. Her long blue hair fell around her face, the feathers tied there blowing in the warm breeze as she sent a little spark of magic in the branch, fortifying the young plant for the difficult winter season ahead.
It is a simple decision; a yes or no answer really. Why is it taking so long?
Normally able to keep herself calm and orderly, it was difficult for Celessarae to stop worrying over what was to come. The future branched out in many directions, and this meeting would determine which of the many branches she would follow in her life's course. It was as important as could be, and she couldn't help but wonder if she'd made a mistake in coming here.
As she thought this, she heard the rustling of cloth behind her, and she straightened herself upright, taking a deep breath to keep calm herself and settling a serene mask over her face. She turned, her silver eyes taking in the elderly Kaldorei that was now waiting for her at the edge of the clearing. He smiled at her, his amber eyes giving away little of his thoughts as he beckoned for her to follow him before turning and walking away. Taken by surprise, Celessare moved quickly to walk beside the other Kaldorei on a path through the forest, listening intently as he began to talk.
"I have given much thought to your request, Celessarae," he said in a mild tone. "Myself and the others were much grieved when we heard of the passing of your Shan'do, and I understand the great difficulties you have faced both with that event and with your past."
Celessarae said nothing, merely keeping pace with the other elf and keeping her thoughts to herself. That her Shan'do had been killed by the orcs was common knowledge; the rest of her life's story was written as plain as moonlight on the scars that trailed up her left arm. The elder druids knew why she had come to them, and how inexperienced she was in their arts. None of that needed repeating and she wondered why it was being brought up now, given why she was there.
The other elf continued walking, gesturing with his hands as he spoke, "Such a past can color the future and can shape what you will become to some degree. Like it or not, the darkness we are dealt can dictate our path just as easily as the joyous moments. Tell me, my young friend, what do you think your future looks like? What path do you see yourself walking?"
Celessarae said nothing for a time, merely walking beside the elf, deep in thought. She was not one to jump to an answer quickly, and preferred instead to contemplate such questions thoroughly before forming an opinion. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, she answered, satisfied with the words, "I wish to become a great healer. I wish to excel in such arts so that I can aid others who have fallen as I was once aided myself. I see myself becoming this in time, and paying back the land and my people for what they have done for me when I could not fend for myself."
The other druid smiled, nodding as she spoke, glancing at her and studying the red-hued butterfly markings on her face, "That is a good answer, a fine answer indeed. Let me ask you another question though; what of those who harmed you? What of the orcs then?"
Celessarae stopped walking for a moment, pausing on the trail, her face hardening and a touch of hatred in her eyes, "What of them? They should be exterminated for all I care. All they do is burn and pillage the land and bring ruin to everyone and everything unfortunate enough to get in their path."
The other druid paused, turning to look at her, a bit of sadness in his eyes as he continued to study her. He spoke softly, his tone firm but not mocking, "And therein lies the problem, young one. For how can you heal with the one hand, but with the other wish to smite an entire race from existence? How can you balance the desire to mend with the raging desire to destroy? It is not wrong to feel as you do, and many would feel the same in your place given what you've been through, but do you see the conflict inherent in your answers?"
Celessarae nodded, bowing her head and looking away from the elder druid, "I do. I understand what you're saying. It is difficult to overcome such feelings though."
He stepped towards her, taking her hands in his and smiling at her. She looked up at him and there was no anger or disappointment on his face, only a look of understanding. "In time, you will overcome bitterness as you have overcome many other things. There are many orcs who deserve the justice you wish to see inflicted upon them, but like any other creature there are differences between each of them. Not all bears will put their claws to your flesh and even the most timid deer may rake you with its antlers. It is in discovering the ability to see these differences that you will gain wisdom and become a truly great healer. Until you are able to see that more clearly however, I cannot be your Shan'do. My days of warring and adventure are long behind me now, and I am not the right teacher for you. Do you understand?"
Celessarae could feel despair threatening to reach up and strangle her heart as she nodded slowly. She managed to keep her expression neutral as he released her hands, dipping her head in respect towards him. Within, she chastised herself for being unworthy, for failing to meet up to expectations. It took a great effort of will to push the emotions back down into the black pit that they often tried to slither out of in her mind.
She offered the other elf a bow before turning and striding back up the path, the natural sounds of the forest doing little to quell the self-recriminations that ran through her mind. In time she knew she would silence the thoughts, just as she would overcome the massive obstacles that she would face in becoming a better druid and healer. Like everything, it would be a struggle, but one that she would not give up on. There would be others who could teach her, who could be a Shan'do. She would seek them out and learn, and perhaps in time she would make herself worthy in the eyes of the rest of the Circle.
It was just so very hard to move forward when the greatest thing holding you back was yourself.
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