A blog dedicated to fictional short stories and role-playing across a spectrum of video-games and fantasy worlds.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Research Journal Entry- On Hope

*The Highborne lies asleep in her bed, a mound of blankets and cloaks piled on top of her to keep her warm and drive away the chill that's been in her for the past day. In the air over her bed, two orbs of glowing blue fire hang, keeping the room at close to 90 degrees; a nice toasty warm.

Lying next to the peacefully sleeping Highborne is her open research journal; a fresh entry inked before she had drifted off*

I lie here in bed under the orders of Mister Zhalar. Apparently I've been really sick and I didn't realize it, and he and Miss Varenna even told me that they've seen people die from the illness that had been consuming me! I must say I've never been this sick in my entire life...in fact, I don't think I've EVER really been sick. It just didn't happen back home. We had magic and certainly I never got myself in situations where I would have sharp pointy objects jabbed into my flesh!


I guess back then we thought we were immortal. Who knows, perhaps we were immortal with our magic and the perfect harmony that defined our lives. I don't know, all I know is being sick is miserable and I'm grateful that Mister Zhalar was able to cure me. Some rest tonight aught to completely drive the rest of it away and I should be better tomorrow I hope!

Hope...that is an interesting word, and actually the cause of my current illness. It was hope that drove me to walk into that gnoll camp, and hope that ended up getting me injured when the gnoll shaman I tried to speak with struck out at me. It is a driving force in my life, but also an absolutely vital one I think.

It was hope that made me want to find a gnoll I could communicate with. Hope that perhaps not every single member of their race was violent and evil. It is a fundamental belief in my heart that you cannot define an entire group of people or generalize them based on common actions. There is ALWAYS the hope that an individual will stand up and stand out and say "this is wrong, we should not be doing this, we should do the right thing". No matter how many times I fail, I will never give up that hope that I hold, never let it dull with disappointment.

Why is this? It's simple really. When one asks Miss Silveria what she thinks about Highborne, how does she respond? I'm sure that a few months ago, she would have wrinkled her nose in distaste, and you would have known before she spoke what her thoughts were. Have I shown her that there can be differences between Highborne? It is my hope that this is the case. And if I can set an example like this, than others can too. It is only when we stop believing that the unlikely is possible that we lose hope, and that I will never do.

Perhaps for some, it is better to view the world with a bit of caution and without the blind hope that I carry with me. People like Miss Kelliana have a strong shell around them, defending them from the gnoll clubs that come their way. And yet, even with Miss Kelliana there is more to her beneath the surface. When she looks at me I can see it. The worry in her eyes last evening, the way she wrapped her cloak around me and hovered over me to make sure I was alright....even here, beneath her strong exterior there is a soft and loving heart, and that too gives me hope that I will find it in others, even amongst peoples that are deemed as evil and irredeemable.

I was greatly disappointed when Miss Xandra found the evidence to suggest that the gnolls we were studying truly were evil. When I saw that cookpot and what it contained, it did indeed dash my hopes for a moment. But only for a moment! I will never stop trying to think the best of people that I meet until I am shown otherwise, and if I have to be disappointed and sometimes even injured in the process, it is a small price to pay for believing that there can be light in the world.

I guess, in closing, my research into the gnolls did yield positive results. Not about the gnolls themselves (although i still believe that given the right education or communication that can be changed) but about myself instead. I see now that it's always possible to make a difference if you can carry hope with you and give it to others. Sometimes hope is all that is needed to help someone go on, and it's such an easy thing to give. It costs you nothing, but can lift you up when you need it most.

And now, I go to sleep. I'm still freezing despite the healing I've gotten. I don't feel as ill as I did before, but rest is what I need and Mister Zhalar knows his craft well. I almost wish I had remained in the Temple of Elune now so that I could help people with injuries to recover! But that was another life, and another time. Now I will snuggle up with Kelliana's cloak wrapped tight around me and hope that tomorrow is an even better day. Somehow, I know it will be.

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