*The night elf lays
slumped at the kitchen table of Professor Knox's house, her private
journal lying open beside her and a quill held in her fingers. Her eyes
are closed and she is sound asleep. Her elegant script fills the open
pages nearby.*
Today has been an interesting day! I learned about a few human customs, including a holiday where apparently you are supposed to lie to other people and get them to do silly or embarrassing things! I also learned that humans have a difficult time with some types of clothing, particularly clothing that reveals more of your skin. At the very least, several of them seemed to find it difficult to look elsewhere when I was wearing such clothing!
I must think of suitable vengeance for Miss Shaila. Her trick worked perfectly, and although I was not embarrassed it was still rather silly for me to walk around in...well, THAT for an entire night! Miss Shaila does not know that Eldre'nor and I have played these kinds of jokes on each other for many thousands of years though! I am so going to get her! I have been invited to the Rose house if I wish to get some revenge. Perhaps I will glue her bedroom door closed with magic? Or maybe I will summon a water elemental over her while she is sleeping? I will have to think about it!
I think the most important thing tonight though was the conversation I had with Professor Knox. I did not know that her lover had left. I didn't know how much it hurt her, or what she was feeling about it. I'm so glad she was able to open up to me. I just want to take all of the hurt she has inside and just hold it away from her so that she can be happy again. This woman has done everything for me, and to think of her feeling unhappy or hurting is just unbearable. I will do whatever I can to make her feel better!
Her situation has made me think a lot about myself too! Miss Kelliana came to the Rose meeting today, but she didn't say anything to me. She didn't even explain why she'd been gone for so long, or tell me she missed me or anything. It made me realize that perhaps I have made some mistakes recently. This world is not the world I was born to. It does not have the same rules, and those in it do not have the same motivations. Each of us is lead by our own personal goals, and in the case of my previous lovers I see now that love was not their priority.
Miss Kelliana has her wars and fighting. I'm not sure if this is all there is of her, but it is something that she cannot put aside, even for a moment. She cannot take a moment with friends, because the war calls to her like a siren song. It is her true lover, her true mistress, and nothing can ever come between it and her. No love will ever be stronger than who she is.
The same can be said of Miss Flo. She and I spent many wonderful days and nights together, but mischief and adventure are the things that she loves the most. How can she dedicate herself to settling for the bland and boring rules of being with another when her very spirit craves the excitement of good-humored chaos and disorder? What thrill can my kiss provide when compared to the thrill of nearly being caught by a foe while doing something you are not supposed to be doing? Can I blame her for being wayward and needing things to end the way they did? I think I have only myself to blame, for imagining things that were not there.
I think that this world is so very different from my home, and I have many things to learn still. There are still good examples to uphold, like Miss Corrienda and her beloved Galedorin, or perhaps Miss Shaila and Miss Chelody. It is clear that love thrives here, just in ways that I do not yet understand fully. I remember....remember...
*The writing trails off here leaving a line of smeared ink. A little bit below the entry above, the writing continues. It is now in a much more steady hand, and written in an ancient form of Darnassian that only a skilled archaeologist would fully be able to interpret. It is as if another person took up the entry where Malandrae left off. A single drop of blood stains the page in the margin, the crimson a stark contrast to the white paper.*
Many were those who sought my hand. And why not? Am I not beautiful? Am I not the second daughter of House Moonwhisper? This time is no different from then, although the reasons that I find suitors now may be different. Before they would play games, they would seek to undermine each other, taking lovers to advance their station or obtain power. Well did I know these games, well did I play them. And yet even then, my heart was true. I gave it fully to those I cared for, not caring that they in turn were simply using me for their own ends.
They sometimes thought I couldn't tell, couldn't understand what they were doing. The touch of a lover compared to the touch of one who has another agenda in mind is so clear that it would be pointless to write it on this page. It is not the same today as it was then, but even so I can tell when those I have given my heart to are distracted. The ones whom I've bonded with here are certainly this way, and I cannot blame them anymore than I could blame the others of the Court.
And so what path do I take now? The same as I always have. I will seek to balance out what I need with my current situation. It is not like I could not have another lover, or many others if I so chose. I doubt that any in this age could resist the lures of the Zin-Azshari Highborne. Doing this though would simply be perpetuating my problem in that I still will have a basic lack of understanding of the motivations of my friends now. It is perplexing to me, the way they live, the many different peoples that are combined together and the things they have created and do.
I feel tired now, so very tired. If you had told me a mere eight months ago (to my own perception) that I would exist in such a place, and that I would be a pauper of all things, I would have laughed. Now I find myself bereft of love, of family, and even owing much coin for mistakes I made that I could not possibly have been prepared for. Perhaps this Genise will be able to help me. At the very least, it is another Sorceress to study, to learn from. Perhaps she will grant me access to her spellbooks? Time will tell.
I feel weary now. I feel as if I do not belong here, and yet I do belong here. It makes little sense to me, and I feel a fog of confusion rolling over me. I think I will close my eyes now, and when I awaken, perhaps I will find that this has been but a dream, bittersweet at times but also pleasant. Yes, sleep sounds good...
*The writing ends here, the ink long since dried next to the slumbering elf.*
Today has been an interesting day! I learned about a few human customs, including a holiday where apparently you are supposed to lie to other people and get them to do silly or embarrassing things! I also learned that humans have a difficult time with some types of clothing, particularly clothing that reveals more of your skin. At the very least, several of them seemed to find it difficult to look elsewhere when I was wearing such clothing!
I must think of suitable vengeance for Miss Shaila. Her trick worked perfectly, and although I was not embarrassed it was still rather silly for me to walk around in...well, THAT for an entire night! Miss Shaila does not know that Eldre'nor and I have played these kinds of jokes on each other for many thousands of years though! I am so going to get her! I have been invited to the Rose house if I wish to get some revenge. Perhaps I will glue her bedroom door closed with magic? Or maybe I will summon a water elemental over her while she is sleeping? I will have to think about it!
I think the most important thing tonight though was the conversation I had with Professor Knox. I did not know that her lover had left. I didn't know how much it hurt her, or what she was feeling about it. I'm so glad she was able to open up to me. I just want to take all of the hurt she has inside and just hold it away from her so that she can be happy again. This woman has done everything for me, and to think of her feeling unhappy or hurting is just unbearable. I will do whatever I can to make her feel better!
Her situation has made me think a lot about myself too! Miss Kelliana came to the Rose meeting today, but she didn't say anything to me. She didn't even explain why she'd been gone for so long, or tell me she missed me or anything. It made me realize that perhaps I have made some mistakes recently. This world is not the world I was born to. It does not have the same rules, and those in it do not have the same motivations. Each of us is lead by our own personal goals, and in the case of my previous lovers I see now that love was not their priority.
Miss Kelliana has her wars and fighting. I'm not sure if this is all there is of her, but it is something that she cannot put aside, even for a moment. She cannot take a moment with friends, because the war calls to her like a siren song. It is her true lover, her true mistress, and nothing can ever come between it and her. No love will ever be stronger than who she is.
The same can be said of Miss Flo. She and I spent many wonderful days and nights together, but mischief and adventure are the things that she loves the most. How can she dedicate herself to settling for the bland and boring rules of being with another when her very spirit craves the excitement of good-humored chaos and disorder? What thrill can my kiss provide when compared to the thrill of nearly being caught by a foe while doing something you are not supposed to be doing? Can I blame her for being wayward and needing things to end the way they did? I think I have only myself to blame, for imagining things that were not there.
I think that this world is so very different from my home, and I have many things to learn still. There are still good examples to uphold, like Miss Corrienda and her beloved Galedorin, or perhaps Miss Shaila and Miss Chelody. It is clear that love thrives here, just in ways that I do not yet understand fully. I remember....remember...
*The writing trails off here leaving a line of smeared ink. A little bit below the entry above, the writing continues. It is now in a much more steady hand, and written in an ancient form of Darnassian that only a skilled archaeologist would fully be able to interpret. It is as if another person took up the entry where Malandrae left off. A single drop of blood stains the page in the margin, the crimson a stark contrast to the white paper.*
Many were those who sought my hand. And why not? Am I not beautiful? Am I not the second daughter of House Moonwhisper? This time is no different from then, although the reasons that I find suitors now may be different. Before they would play games, they would seek to undermine each other, taking lovers to advance their station or obtain power. Well did I know these games, well did I play them. And yet even then, my heart was true. I gave it fully to those I cared for, not caring that they in turn were simply using me for their own ends.
They sometimes thought I couldn't tell, couldn't understand what they were doing. The touch of a lover compared to the touch of one who has another agenda in mind is so clear that it would be pointless to write it on this page. It is not the same today as it was then, but even so I can tell when those I have given my heart to are distracted. The ones whom I've bonded with here are certainly this way, and I cannot blame them anymore than I could blame the others of the Court.
And so what path do I take now? The same as I always have. I will seek to balance out what I need with my current situation. It is not like I could not have another lover, or many others if I so chose. I doubt that any in this age could resist the lures of the Zin-Azshari Highborne. Doing this though would simply be perpetuating my problem in that I still will have a basic lack of understanding of the motivations of my friends now. It is perplexing to me, the way they live, the many different peoples that are combined together and the things they have created and do.
I feel tired now, so very tired. If you had told me a mere eight months ago (to my own perception) that I would exist in such a place, and that I would be a pauper of all things, I would have laughed. Now I find myself bereft of love, of family, and even owing much coin for mistakes I made that I could not possibly have been prepared for. Perhaps this Genise will be able to help me. At the very least, it is another Sorceress to study, to learn from. Perhaps she will grant me access to her spellbooks? Time will tell.
I feel weary now. I feel as if I do not belong here, and yet I do belong here. It makes little sense to me, and I feel a fog of confusion rolling over me. I think I will close my eyes now, and when I awaken, perhaps I will find that this has been but a dream, bittersweet at times but also pleasant. Yes, sleep sounds good...
*The writing ends here, the ink long since dried next to the slumbering elf.*
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