*Deep in the frozen north, standing amongst the tents of the Argent
Crusade's tournament grounds, a beautiful red and gold tent stands
somewhat apart from the others. Pennants and banners from four of the
five major cities present in the ongoing tournament hang from around the
tent's opening, and two Argent Crusade guards stand respectfully at
attention before the tent, keeping watch over the area.
Within
the tent, Biara sleeps soundly beneath a mountain of fur blankets, only
the tips of her pink ears showing in the cold air of the north as she
snuggles into the warmth of her bed. Stacked in a corner of her tent are
a variety of lances and the equipment she uses for the current
tournament roster that she's signed up for. Lying nearby, faintly
visible in the dying embers of the lantern that lit the inside of the
tent, her journal lies open, the last page freshly inked in her
meticulous script.*
I return to my tent here on the
Argent Tournament grounds to continue with the games that I've enrolled
in. Although the purpose of the tournament has long since passed, the
Argent Crusade still trains champions by sending them out to clean up
the remnants of the scourge lurking in Icecrown, and I find a certain
solace in coming here from time to time to aid in those efforts. The
cold darkness of the night in Northrend can clarify even the most
wayward of thoughts.
I have recently been awarded
my fourth pennant, and have been granted the honor of being called a
champion of the Darkspear tribe. I felt honored at this event, and I am
now a champion of four cities and a valiant of the fifth that is
represented here. The ceremony to give me the pennant was short but
beautiful, and part of me wishes I could have shared it with someone
else.
I'm not sure why I haven't invited others
to see me joust here. It is something I take pride in, and something
that gives me solace when my spirits are low. The skill, the precision
needed to do this activity properly is exhilarating, and I'm sure my
friends and loved ones would like to see. Yet I hesitate to invite them
time and again, and I'm not sure why. Perhaps it is because each of them
have their own worries, their own burdens right now. I could hardly
expect my pregnant sister to travel all the way to this dangerous place
just to watch me potentially bruise myself or break a bone!
I
think part of the reason that I do not invite them to watch is because
it is a personal affair for me. This activity is one of the few things I
have that my father passed down to me that I can really hold on to.
When I perform in the tournament, others are watching me but they see
only my form, not my heart or the emotion that goes into it. I don't
know if I could show anyone that side of me, I'm not sure if I would
want them to see the expression on my face or know what kind of memories
flow through me. Not even my own sister would fully understand,
although she might if she were to consider her own mother and that loss.
Lately
I will admit that I have had some temptation to share these moments
with someone. I find with some surprise that the Blood Knight Makaelen
has slipped further into my thoughts and desires. I find that I might
not mind him seeing these raw emotions, and coming to understand what
the past means to me through them. The thought that I would let my
feelings for him grow so much is both exciting and frightening. I have
had my heart broken many times, and yet each time I find that it has not
grown a thick shell and instead yearns for someone like Mak to reach
out and stir its flames back to life. And that he has done, and it
scares me how much he means to me after such a short time.
Regardless
of the past, the fact is that he DOES mean the world to me, and I want
to show him this and everything else about me. I want to see if he will
really accept me when he sees all that I am, but at the same time I'm
still afraid that he will find something horrible beneath the surface
that drives him away, and so I sleep in this tent alone, when I could
have his arms wrapped around me. I know he is close, somewhere in the
snow out there sleeping in a tent of his own. Does he dream of me? I
would like to hope so!
Thoughts of Mak make me
think back to my conversation with Jenuila earlier today. Our trip to
the spa in Feralas was quite enjoyable, and it delighted me to see how
happy Jen and the Archmage are together. For many years now I have been
concerned about Vomher's happiness, knowing that beneath his rather
gruff exterior there was a pure heart that simply needed something to
kindle it back to life. I am glad that Jen is the source of that fire
which now burns all the more hotly in the Archmage. I hope that she will
always be there for him, to bring him that comfort. My best friend
deserves such a life.
Twice in the past few days I
have been asked for advice in the legalities of our city, both by Jen
as well as a Blood Knight. I hope that I have set them both on the
proper course to further their goals. With Jen especially, I will do
everything in my power to aid her, if only for the sake of the love I
see in her eyes when she talks about the Archmage. Having tasted that
same feeling, I know that it is worth protecting.
I
now find myself sitting in amazement, with few words left to spill on
this page, for I have come to a realization as my thoughts were
clarified by the night sky of Northrend. Do I love him already? Is that
why I dream of him every time I close my eyes? Is that why my heart
flutters even now when I think about it.
The
answer to that question puts a smile on my lips, and will put sweet
dreams in my mind as I drift off to sleep. The world cannot be a better
place than it is at this moment, except maybe if he were here beside me.
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