Oh So Sorry

Her hands were shaking again. Malandrae paused in her task, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Her hands shouldn't be shaking. She shouldn't be feeling the gut churning fear and anxiety, but it was there, irrationally tearing at her mind like a beast with claws. She held her hands up in front of her face, opening her silver eyes and trying to focus on them.

They kept shaking, although less now. Her skin was dirty, and little lacerations covered her from the tips of her fingers to close to her elbow. It was evidence enough that she had no working knowledge of what she was doing; a professional would not have injured herself.

Then again, a professional would not want to die at this moment either.

The fear bubbled up inside of her again and she gave a little groan, trying to keep it contained within her. She felt like a shell wrapped around the fear, her skin a paper-thin layer that contained beneath it nothing but endless nightmare. She couldn't explain it, and it had not always been this way, but the simple task that she was currently engaged in made it build up until she could scream.

It had taken her hours to build up the nerve to do what she was now doing. She had thought about it endlessly, questioned the wisdom of facing what was most likely a mental disorder. She wasn't so blind as to not be able to recognize that there was something seriously wrong with her, but there was no cure for it and no one she could share it with that would possibly understand. Despite these misgivings though she decided to press on with the plan, and hours later she found herself kneeling on the ground, her hands shaking.

For a moment, she smirked at her own state. How the merchant in the nearby shop had looked at her when he saw her! She must have been about eight shades too pale, and had already quietly gotten sick in the gutter on the way to his store. But she'd had gold coins, and the determination in her stance had convinced him that her purchase was serious.

He'd even politely ignored the choked off whimper she gave off when he handed her the first of his wares to cart away.

It had all been necessary though. She had done something terrible to a person who deserved nothing but kindness and thanks. The atonement she paid now would not be the full price after she confessed her mistake to Professor Knox, but she had to do something to make up for it before then, in her own way. She had to do the most distasteful and horrifying thing she had done since awakening from her spell several weeks ago. It was the only answer for her crimes.

She pressed her shaking hands down to the ground again, making the final touches, completing the task that she'd spent the last four hours toiling at. Quietly she whispered words of magic, spells that she had pre-planned spilling from her lips with the ease of long use. Song-like words floated through the air, and ancient highborne magic flowed around her, the pattern of it as natural to her as breathing.

When it was finally done, she stood up slowly, not wanting to look at what she'd wrought. She reached to her belt and took a small piece of parchment from a pouch. Quickly, she stepped up to a nearby door and with a whispered word of magic stuck the letter to the wood. It would be easily removed by the recipient, the spell failing once the letter was handled. Malandrae rested her dirty palm on the wood of the door for a moment.

"I'm so so sorry...please forgive me," she whispered to the closed door.

She sighed, curled her hand into a fist and knocked loudly on the door three times. A second later she whispered the words to a spell, and her image blurred and faded to nothing as she became invisible. A muffled sob escaped her as she walked away, unseen by the citizens of Stormwind. Many would report hearing the cries of a lost spirit as she made her way home, weeping to herself both from the relief of being away from what she had made and from what she perceived as a loss of friendship due to her own foolish mistakes.

******************************

The door that Malandrae had knocked on belonged to Chelody Smallwing, amongst others. Upon opening it to the knock, several things would be noticed. The first was that a crowd of bystanders had gathered at the front of the house, their mouths gaping open in shock, and the second would be that a note was tacked to the door with magic.

Any who lived in the house would find, upon stepping outside, that the front of the structure had been altered. Lining the front of the home were now gorgeous beds of blooming red roses, each flower perfect and planted in gardens that had not previously been there. Above them, four orbs of magic hung, glowing with a golden light and shaped themselves like roses. They gave off a warm radiance that would keep the flowering plants warm even in the colder months of autumn and winter, beaming down on the beautiful display of color.

Amongst the blooms small little wisps of blue light could be seen moving between the plants. Upon closer inspection it became obvious that they were glowbugs conjured from magic, each wandering amongst the blooms and carefully collecting water from the air, delivering it the plants as needed and keeping them free of pests and perfect looking. Rather than taking away from the scene, the gently glowing spells flitted to and fro amongst the roses and added to the beauty of the display.

The citizens who had stopped to stare could not help but agree that the garden was one of the most beautiful they had ever seen, and certainly a precious gem in the city. The highborne spells used to create it were unique to Malandrae's power; little things she had picked up from her instructors or borrowed over the years of her training in another lifetime. A gift to a friend who she'd harmed. A gift given through sheer determination and stubbornness to prevail over the almost paralyzing fear that gripped the highborne mage every time she saw a rose.

The note read:

Dear Chelody,
I found out what happened with the letter I sent you. I cannot believe how foolish I was to do something that would injure you when all you have done is show me kindness. I can only hope that one day you will forgive me, and that you have taken no lasting harm from my actions.

I am beyond embarrassed to know that I have repaid your friendship with injury and ill actions. All along I knew that I did not belong here, but the kindness you and others showed me allowed me to feel comfortable with this place. Enough that I could try and learn the ways of things. And then I go and do a stupid thing like forgetting that not everyone here handles magic as my people used to.

Perhaps I will never fit in here, maybe I am incapable of learning. I do not know, but I regret deeply that I would ruin the friendship you willingly gave me. I have never been so ashamed and disappointed in myself.

Please accept this small gift as an apology for what I did. I know I cannot make it up to you, and was asked not to come over to help clean up the mess I created. I will also help you find new clothes. I know none of this can make up for my mistake though. I hope that you don't hate me utterly.

This letter will NOT catch on fire. Please do not fear my gift either; I have placed no harming magic on it. I just wanted to give you something to make up for what I ruined. Again, I am so very sorry.
Your extremely apologetic friend,
Malandrae Moonwhisper